I'm going to jail i love you
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
