Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
