i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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