The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
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He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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