If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
