Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize