I've blown a few things in my day
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
