This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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