You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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