I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
