you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
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