either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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