I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
