whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
