would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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