Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
