You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it