Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
