She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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