So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
