Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
