question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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