just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
