ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
