): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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