We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
