Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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