his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
