??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
