belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
