Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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