Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
