I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
