love makes seman taste better
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
