I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
