I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
