I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
