I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.