i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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