Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.