I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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