i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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