Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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