can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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