Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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