From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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