Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
