I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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