Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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