can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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