i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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