I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Dick very happy bro
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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