Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
