Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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