Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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