she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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