I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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