Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
