This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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