yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
