Buhtt sex?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
They should really pass out barf bags in church
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
