It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
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it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
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You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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